Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.

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(660): View more from Missouri

I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.

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(956): View more from Texas

You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.

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(419): View more from Ohio

There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.

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(226): View more from Ontario

I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.

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(904): View more from Florida

I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.

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(841): View more from

That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs

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(845): View more from New York

I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block

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