would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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