I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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