I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
