I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
