I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
