he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
3pm strippers are depressing
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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