I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
