dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Watching her eat just hurts me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
