What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
