Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
