i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
