there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize