Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
