Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize