"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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