So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
