It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
