It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
