whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
