Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
