I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
