I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize