guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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