careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
