I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it glows. i had to have it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
