O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
