quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
