sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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