My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
