i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
