walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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