If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
too bad you live with your parents still
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
