Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Never joke about your clitoris.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
