I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize