walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
