The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
