Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
either way he was missing a nipple.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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