I love black thongs
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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