I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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