I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
