one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
