Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
