Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize