i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
