I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
