I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
