My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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