can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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