Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
