I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
