apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
