the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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