Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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