im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i now understand why vodka
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
