I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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