either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
