all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
