I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
