Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
