How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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