Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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