talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
