strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
