well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
