y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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