Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Randomize
