oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize