Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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