I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
