is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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