I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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