I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
